Stepping forward.
- clearstreamzendo
- Apr 7
- 2 min read
This week’s topic for reflection is stepping forward. This past weekend I was told by the teacher leading the Zen retreat he wanted me to lead a guided meditation. I told him I had never done this before and asked him how it was to go. He replied he didn’t know as he was figuring it out as it goes along. His reply just added uncertainty on top of uncertainty. I took solace in his trust in me even though I had told him I didn’t know how to do it. My guiding thought would be, “It’s not about me.”
In Zen we have the expression or koan, “Step off of the top of a hundred foot high pole.” I think we all know how this feels. What we want or need to do is hold on tight. The thought is, “I don’t know what will happen but I know it won’t be good.” What also often occurs is the desire to escape or flee but holding on tight is what happens. It’s helpful to investigate what is the pole we’re holding onto. Also investigate what’s the motive behind the need to hold on and not step forward. Sometimes not acting can be worse than stepping off or stepping into the situation. So how do you move? How do you step off the top of the very high pole not knowing what will happen?
What is helpful is to have the irrational feeling of confidence. Yes, I can do this. I don’t know how or what will happen but I will just get started. It is particularly helpful to be told by someone who knows you well that they believe in you and expect you will succeed. We do this quite easily with young children. The young child has no idea or experience of walking and actually can’t successfully walk. None the less we believe in them and their success and enthusiastically encourage them to keep trying. If the child feels safe in falling down again and again they will keep trying until they succeed. It often doesn’t look like polished walking but we are thrilled and so are they. I must also admit we need to learn how to walk before learning how to run.
This process of stepping off into the unknown is easier when we get out of the way. Release the focus on me, mine and I or self-consciousness. See what the situation right now needs. The secret to getting out of the way is to begin. Take the first step. And then the next step. And keep your eyes and ears and heart open. Falling sometimes happens when stepping forward. Then we find a way to get up and step again. It’s much easier knowing it’s not about me.
Please join us for morning Zoom zazen from 7:00 to 7:30 Tuesday and Thursday, in person zazen at the McNail Riley House Saturday morning from 9:00 to 11:00 and Sunday morning Zoom zazen and discussion of the topic for reflection blog from 8:00 to 9:00 Pacific Time. Here’s the Zoom link:
Meeting ID: 811 6100 3357
Passcode: 278259
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