Self Confidence.
- clearstreamzendo
- May 19
- 3 min read
This week’s topic for reflection is self confidence. How much confidence do you have in yourself? Arrogance is different being more self centered. The confidence I’m speaking of becomes larger, stronger and deeper when self awareness gets out of the way allowing for the spontaneity of awareness and response. This is fundamental confidence in the moment. Confidence and curiously that this, here, now is okay and I’m okay in it.
If you lack self confidence, what gets in the way? I have a neighbor who was the mechanic in a saw mill here in Oregon. When anything in the saw mill broke down it was his job to fix it. A piece of machinery broke down at my place and he stopped by to have a look. He lacked familiarity with this machine but he did not lack confidence in his own ability as a mechanic. I watched him take it apart and slowly figure out how it worked and what each part did. After awhile he, we figured out what was not working right and what needed to be done to fix it. The biggest difference between us was I lacked his confidence.
The most important place to have confidence is in life. There is an element of trust here. Some people feel as though life is a battle field that needs to be defeated. Some feel as though I can only trust in myself. Good luck with that approach. Once when I was feeling down and defeated I told my wife, “I hate reality.” She replied, “And there’s a lot more of it than there is of you.” Confidence involves facing and working with live as it is however we are.
What gets in the way of confidence is self doubt. One big problem and difficulty comes with having or believing in a self. When not self absorbed we are free to simply be alive. “Self” confidence is the problem. Confidence is natural and spontaneous. When the professional baseball player goes up to bat he is of course extremely skilled and athletic and he is also confident. If he allows self doubt or the thought of self to be present he will not be successful. He is relaxed, alert and responsive. Sometimes he even gets on base.
The confidence I speak of is not control. It’s involvement from a place of trust. Patience and trust. There is a Zen koan where the Zen master states, “Everyday is a good day.” This “good” is not relative to bad but more full of aliveness and opportunity. The last thing Maezumi Roshi said to me was, “What are you going to do now Futai?” I hear him offering me encouragement to be alive as Futai in this world full of opportunity and potential. He didn’t add just don’t make any mistakes.
John Lennon sang a song where he lists a number of things he doesn’t believe in and then sings, “I just believe in me.” We never really know how things will turn out, even what we will do.
Believe in the world all around you and join in. You belong here.
Please join us for morning Zoom zazen from 7:00 to 7:30 Tuesday and Thursday, in person zazen at the McNail Riley House Saturday morning from 9:00 to 11:00 and Sunday morning Zoom zazen and discussion of the topic for reflection blog from 8:00 to 9:00 Pacific Time. Here’s the Zoom link:
Meeting ID: 811 6100 3357
Passcode: 278259
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