Resistance.
- clearstreamzendo
- Sep 22
- 2 min read
This weeks topic for reflection is resistance. Pause for a moment and reflect on how it feels to resist. For me it’s a pushing away with teeth grinding, eye squinting focus. It’s also tiring. Resisting is usually reflexive and automatic, self-justified and learned. The resistance I’m referring to is different from choosing to say no.
The opposite of resistance is being open, spontaneous and free to receive and give. Open to joy and pain. Open to see, to care and to respond. It’s being present to what is however it is. Amazingly this freedom is not tiresome. It seems to connect with unseen energy.
In my new found role of caregiver and spending a lot of time with doctors, nurses, nurses aids, friends and family, I’ve learned a lot about dealing with difficult situations and resistance. I’ve seen that what is most effective is genuine empathic caring and the effortless, spontaneous response that goes with it. As with the title caregiver, one needs to genuinely care and the giving doesn’t feel like loosing anything. When this happens and the receiver of the gift says, “Thank you” the response is usually, “Of course.” There’s no hesitation made by the caregiver only the response to what’s needed. Relax. Notice. Respond. Caring, even deeply caring doesn't have to involve a resistance to the situation. In my case witnessing the intense suffering of my wife. Openly being with her, at times crying as I looked on, gave her the much needed comfort and the knowedge that she was not alone. It also made it much easier to be an effective advocate for her.
It’s important to notice when we’re in a state of resistance. It can be filled with drama and overt demands or refusals. It can also be subtle like wanting to retreat or become invisible. It can involve protecting ones self image or I should have this and not wanting that or why me. Giving while resisting is not free or freeing. The gift is given with strings attached like the need to be appreciated or to feel good about oneself. There can be a defensive tightening or holding back. Notice when this happens. Just notice. Then see if the resistance is necessary or has a desirable purpose. You might also be able to see where it comes from which can help in letting it go.
Resistance has an element of clinging or pushing away. It’s so much easier to be open and flow. Being open to the flow does not mean we can’t make choices and be involved. It does however provide a greater opportunity for effective involvement and better choices.
Please join us for Sunday morning Zoom zazen and discussion of the topic for reflection blog from 8:00 to 9:00 Pacific Time. Here’s the Zoom link:
Meeting ID: 811 6100 3357
Passcode: 278259
Gassho,
Futai
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