Friendship.
This weeks’ topic for reflection is friendship. The value of friendship is huge. Please pause for a while and reflect on what friendship means to you.
For me it’s the difference between feeling separate and alone and being heard, held and loved. We all need friends. With good friends we can make it through anything. I once had a neighbor, Victor Nolan. He said some people say if you have good health you have everything. He disagreed and said that wasn’t true. He believed if you had good health and no friends your life would be miserable yet if you had good friends, you had everything you need. Victor was a wonderful friend.
An important part of friendship is wanting to hear and understand each other. It’s sincerely asking how are you? Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” Jesus didn’t say love your neighbor only if he is not different from you. I see this as a radical form of friendship between people who can be very different. This kind of love does not necessarily involve agreement. Yet do we really care enough to ask, “How are you?” “Love your neighbor as you love yourself” is a big ask but I think he meant it. This becomes easier when we see we are not separate. Everyone is a reflection of our true face.
A good family exhibits friendship toward family members. Family members should never be banished or excluded when they mess up. I met a trans person who told me to be trans almost always entails a period of homelessness. What is most painful about this is the banishment from home and ones family that so often happens to trans people prior to becoming homeless. Everyone needs a home and someone who cares. Sometimes it’s easier to hate and reject than it is to ask how are you?
When we recently moved to our new home, one by one the neighbors came by to welcome us. I experienced this welcoming as saying they’d like to be friends. One of our neighbors is in her nineties and lives alone. When she broke her leg and the paramedics came, the neighbors all gathered at her house. Everyone told her if she needed anything at all, please tell me. Good friends show up.
These are a few thoughts I have about friendship. So…. How are you?
Please join us for morning Zoom zazen from 7:00 to 7:30 Tuesday and Thursday, and Sunday morning Zoom zazen and discussion of the topic for reflection blog from 8:00 to 9:00 Pacific Time. Here’s the Zoom link:
Meeting ID: 811 6100 3357
Passcode: 278259
Gassho,
Futai
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