This weeks’ topic for reflection is communication. “I’m immovable, nothing will change.” What goes with this is the comment, “There’s no use talking with them. They will not change.” These days I often hear of people having firmly held beliefs about themselves and about others. For me personally I would say usually I see things a certain way. I feel it’s the best way and I try to live this way. I’m often also surprised when others see and believe the opposite. We look at the same thing and draw very different conclusions. Sometimes it appears to be half the country sees things differently from me. This mystifies and surprises me. That I am surprised shows me I have not been seeing the truth right in front of me. How can anything change if there is no communication? So often we just dig in.
I heard someone say if you talk with someone with the objective to change them you will fail. If instead you sincerely want to understand them, there is the possibility of communication. You might not agree with them but at least you might learn something. In turn they might, maybe see the possibility of something new.
This is true with our own desire to change ourself. It’s often true that it’s helpful to be curious and inquire why we are thinking, feeling or behaving in a way we want to change. The answer might be obvious and apparent or subtly and not easy to see. Begin the inquiry and patiently open up to yourself. This is an internal communication. Of course this is true when trying to understand others also.
How helpful is shouting at or judging each other? It seems the world is crying out for sincere listening and communication. Bernie Glassman Roshi used to say, “Bearing witness is healing.” He meant really listening, seeing and feeling. There is a lot of healing needed. Let’s all join in and communicate with open hearts and minds.
Please add a comment to this blog and let us know how you are and how you see things.
Please join us for morning Zoom zazen from 7:00 to 7:30 Tuesday and Thursday, in person zazen at the McNail Riley House Saturday morning from 9:00 to 11:00 and Sunday morning Zoom zazen and discussion of the topic for reflection blog from 8:00 to 9:00 Pacific Time. Here’s the Zoom link:
Meeting ID: 811 6100 3357
Passcode: 278259
Gassho,
Futai
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