Boundaries



This week’s topic for reflection is boundaries. To live without boundaries sounds chaotic and necessarily unruly. We need guidelines to establish order, safety and appropriate behavior. Boundaries can be like walls protecting us from harm. Walls can also separate us from worthwhile experiences and possibilities when they are inflexible and can’t be seen through. People and situations change over time and appropriate boundaries need to change also. A small child needs to be shielded from things an adult needs to be exposed to in order for it to be handled appropriately. As we get older we get more certain of what we will accept and not accept. What might be too much for one person might be easy to handle for another.   How are boundaries created? Some are given to us from our culture and family. These are passed down from generation to generation and were created and modified over time. What boundaries have you created? Are they still valid and useful? What would it be like to live without them, both good and bad. What role does fear play in the establishment of boundaries, again both good and bad? Maturity of practice often leads to more open, transparent relationships. How does this open transparency necessitate responsible boundaries? How does compassion work with boundaries?   The object, subject separation is created by our own thinking mind. This separation can create a boundary between oneself and other. As this boundary dissolves or drops away hopefully wisdom and compassion follow. Wisdom or clear seeing needs compassion and boundaries to prevent harmful action. For example, this would be harmful so I won’t go there. Ethical rules are important reminders to help us in making good choices and setting boundaries.       Where do you need more clear boundaries? Do you have boundaries that need to be held more lightly or flexibly. The freedom that gives us choice can lead to harmful behavior if it lacks responsibility and compassion that leads to boundaries.